hold

hold me

before i wake up

before this numbness is gone

and i can feel again

hold me

so that these memories don’t come back

so that these bruises don’t reappear

like flowers blooming on my hips

the evidence of my nightmare

hold me

so that i am trapped in this dream

this numbness is my safe haven

all i want is to lie here

mid-way to death

before your hands force me to life again.

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breaking

i can’t keep putting myself together
everyday
and keep breaking apart
everyday
i can’t keep holding on to my sanity
it only pushes me further
until it feels almostĀ inviting
to let go
of this reality
and pursue
what was never mine.