hold

hold me

before i wake up

before this numbness is gone

and i can feel again

hold me

so that these memories don’t come back

so that these bruises don’t reappear

like flowers blooming on my hips

the evidence of my nightmare

hold me

so that i am trapped in this dream

this numbness is my safe haven

all i want is to lie here

mid-way to death

before your hands force me to life again.

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lost

somewhere

between the lines 

on every page

and

between the words

that you said

i lost myself. 

open

you make me feel

like your fingers are peeling open my mind

turning it inside out

forcing my nails across a chalkboard

leaving white trails

a warning

a taste

of everything that is to come.

coloursĀ 

brown

blue

green

they were all so beautiful

in your hair

they reminded me of sunshine

and of green pastures

and i could only watch

as another

flooded it with fire.

flames

dust

paper

and strewn coffee pots

attract flames

either

of the heart

or the fire.

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burning eyes and tears

don’t seem to stop at my heart

they roll down

like a waterfall

flooding my wrists

and forcing themselves

to come out

as blood.