hold

hold me

before i wake up

before this numbness is gone

and i can feel again

hold me

so that these memories don’t come back

so that these bruises don’t reappear

like flowers blooming on my hips

the evidence of my nightmare

hold me

so that i am trapped in this dream

this numbness is my safe haven

all i want is to lie here

mid-way to death

before your hands force me to life again.

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open

you make me feel

like your fingers are peeling open my mind

turning it inside out

forcing my nails across a chalkboard

leaving white trails

a warning

a taste

of everything that is to come.

blame

i don’t blame you

i don’t blame you for screaming

i don’t blame you for hurting

for crying

for feeling

i don’t blame you for anything you do

and yet you blame me

for every step you take

like it is my fault i have bruises from your assaults

like it is my fault that you hate me enough to stay

all i want is to go back to when you were in love with me

so in love that you didn’t speak for weeks

at least i didn’t have to wear long sleeves and bandages.

heaven

your hands feel like heaven,
leaving bruises,
until I have forgotten the passion
and these marks are all i have
these marks
are only thing
normal 
about me.

Miniature Prose

there are days when you feel nothing

and then days when

every little emotion cuts into your heart

deeper than anything else

you have ever felt before

and every scar burns

and old bruises throb with a dull ache

and everything mixes into a pile of chaos

until you are numb

numb with disbelief

numb with pain

numb with life and its little stories.

Miniature Prose

bruises

faded

across my eye

across my jawline

and hands littering my body like scars

every punch took away my breath and my soul

why couldn’t they take away my love?