i don’t blame you

i don’t blame you for screaming

i don’t blame you for hurting

for crying

for feeling

i don’t blame you for anything you do

and yet you blame me

for every step you take

like it is my fault i have bruises from your assaults

like it is my fault that you hate me enough to stay

all i want is to go back to when you were in love with me

so in love that you didn’t speak for weeks

at least i didn’t have to wear long sleeves and bandages.


my head feels like shattered glass

and you bathe in its blood red tears.

poison ivy

poison ivy

stabs to the heart

as i lay bleeding

with dust pouring

out of my mind.


your control
leaves me hanging
at the precipice
of darkness
for you push me over
don’t push me over
i’ll be good
i promise i’ll be good.


your glass eyes
make me hang on to every word
every mistake
like the shadows cling to the moon
during daytime
and vanish into oblivion.


your hands feel like heaven,
leaving bruises,
until I have forgotten the passion
and these marks are all i have
these marks
are only thing
about me.


you can hurt me
over and over
and over
and i will convince myself
that i deserve it.